merryhempster

Wise Words with George...



I'm tired of these Canadians who have worked in the American news media for years and still haven't learned to pronounce the words out and about. Peter Jennings is one of them, and there are about three or four more. These people need to be taught that it's OUT and uh-BOUT, not OOT and uh-BOOT. I say if you can't learn the language, it's aboot time you get the fuck oot of here. Besides, Canadians are just disguised English people, and it's a well-known fact that all English people deserve to die.

So, I was filling the sodas at work today and some guy walked up and said, "You look cute when you're on your knees."

Really? I do?! THANKS!

Jackass.

Since I’m obsessed with making people think that I’m cool and interesting, I’ve decided to start making some “LJ” entries, which may or may not compromise my plight to be “cool” and “interesting”. So, yeah… I went to bed at 6:30am maybe? Got up at 7:30am. Cleaned the necessary areas on my body and perfumed myself properly. Loaded myself into my little blue jeep to drive to Weekend College (which starts at 8:30am). People were rubbernecking by the Antietam Village strip mall ‘cause a few days ago some crazy bugger barricaded himself in the liquor store and set the place on fire. Yes, it’s Frederick’s new claim to fame! Never mind the top science base in the world that’s right next door. Of course, I blame Fort Detrick on the Brits cause if they hadn’t gone and made part of Scotland uninhabitable from anthrax, then we wouldn’t have to make it. You silly fucks. Anyways! Foundations of Mathematics started off with a bang! And by that I mean we learned how to estimate probability in exciting and fun new ways. 

Sadly, Professor Swyter didn’t have any show and tell items today aside from his computer program he wrote. This program gives you all the possible ways you can color in three blocks on a nine block grid (he seriously has too much free time). At the beginning of class, Swyter had asked us to make a nine block grid and asked us to fill in any three of the blocks. He then pressed the keys on the computer projector to make all the possible outcomes flash up in fast repetition and told us to shout out when we saw ours up there. Hippie. Around noon or so he gave us a handout that we’re to complete for homework. People started on their assignments being that class usually ends at 12:45pm, but Swyter stood there for maybe a minute before he said, “Now don’t take this the wrong way, folks, but I hoped you all would leave”, haha. Best professor ever.

 

After class I did my usual post-Saturday class thing and went to Panera bread and ordered the asian sesame chicken salad with French baguette and a green tea to go. There were little girl scouts harassing people to buy their cookies outside, so I gave them my change from lunch ($2.30) as I didn’t have enough to buy their overpriced , sub-par nutritional, capitalistic cookies they were selling for $3.50 a box.

 

So, I got home and went back on the internet to check and see if anyone was talking behind my back while I was gone whilst I ate my salad. After sopping up the last of the asian vinaigrette dressing with my piece of French baguette, I decided to actually lay down for a decent nap. That lasted for maybe two hours. My dad comes and wakes me up to eat dinner, and told me to suck it up and eat some grey baked chicken to make my mother happy, even though I was already full. SO, now I feel like puking.

 

That basically brings us up to speed, I reckon.

 

Haha… look at what I wrote over a year ago. I forgot I even had an LJ already. (hipster snaps)

 

There is a tickle in my throat. There's an itch in my nose. I'm drowsy in the head and my toes are cold. Mommy's at work, daddy's down the hall, and I'm in my bed stifling a cough.

Such has been my day.

(Golf clap)